Hi. It’s me, Bridgitte.
You don’t know me. But you will soon. That’s not meant to sound creepy. Shit..ok sorry – just keep reading anyway, please.
I’m a big, big fan. Ya, I know you’ve got a bunch of those, nothing new right? I’m also a singer…but you’re like – THE singer, so ok no big whoop I get it. I’m from New York!! I’m Jewish!! I’ve got a big nose!! I LOVE a bargain….I’ve got kids…
Just trying to establish some common ground here. Give me a break, huh? I just wanted to take this opportunity to let you know that I love you. Not in that freakish mob fan way. Not in that SNL parody ‘Like Butta’ kinda way. Not in that “Oh MY God I’ve seen like ALL your movies and I totally love Broadway and Glee and my absolute dream is to meet you..” way. Not at all.
More like the way that you love someone who has inspired you. Who you look up to. Who has never let you down. This kind of love that doesn’t need autographs and fan groups and memorabilia (ok FINE i Got the Barbra Barbie I could’t help myself). It doesn’t matter if you have never met that person, seen that person, or even come close to having a light brunch at Sizzler with that person. It’s love nonetheless.
For a girl who loved music, and funny women, and New York and subtlety and integrity and full-blown beauty and charisma and and and … You were my everything. Of course, love is fickle. I admit, I may have cheated on you at times. There was a serious Elvis phase that did not make me popular at elementary school. And The New Kids On the Block definitely stole my heart and attention for some time during those awkward pre-teen years. But I always came back to you. Always back to ‘Funny Girl’, to my ever growing Streisand cassette tape collection and Karaoke machine. Thoughts of other women? Sure – Lucille Ball, Cyndi Lauper, Carol Burnett…can you blame a girl???
There was only ever one goal in my life. And that was to sing. It was never about copying, never a ‘wanna-be’ philosophy – Aren’t you the one who taught us to be ourselves — to be original?!?! Yes of course – a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls!! I get that – and I did it the best I could. But it’s hard growing up, the pressure gets to you, the detentions get to you – the system tries to beat it out of you. No Bridgitte, you cannot stand on tables in the cafeteria no matter how well you sing. No Bridgitte, getting the Class Clown award is not an achievement. Declare your major. Do your homework. What’s YOUR PLAN BRIDGITTE!!?? I’ve always known that the only thing I would ever want to do is Sing. But I got distracted Barbra.
I was alone alot as a kid. I was lost. As a grew into a young adult I began to doubt myself. The things that made me ME were things that began to embarrass me, began to make me feel that I’d never succeed despite them. How much good does some old fashioned wit and a hell of belt do in this world where hard skills and big boobs are the way forward?
So I went searching. Oh, I never forgot you Babs – never moved anywhere without your music, never lived anywhere that didn’t have a mirror I could sing in to. Never lost my dream of becoming the Star and Inspiration that you inspired me to become. Every course I took in computers or whatever, every job I applied to knowing I’d already lost it, every time I tried to convince myself and everyone else I was someone different, pushing my dream further away and out of site for the sake of practicality or spirituality – - lemme tell ya – that kind of denial causes alot of agida (For my non-Brooklyn readers Agida is Italian-American slang for heartburn but it can also mean mental aggravation. your welcome.)
But boy did I get lucky! Wait till you hear this Barbra!! Out of all this mess and confusion and searching – I found the one thing I needed to bring me to my senses. I found my best friend. I found him wandering just like I was wandering. Also searching and not sure for what. Also fallen through the cracks of the system, but with a shit load more common sense and discipline. Combine that with my good looks and sense of humor – you got yourself a hell of a couple! So I did him the favor of marrying him. And we started a family. And we still wander and search, but we do it together.
And that’s how I got here. Sometimes all it takes is someone else to believe in you…consistently, over 10 years, day in and day out, crying by night and messing up domestic duties by day.
“All I want to do is sing!” I cry.
“So sing” he says.
So I did. First a few times at home. Then in a studio. Then on Facebook and then with some videos on YouTube. Slowly slowly building my confidence, putting myself out there. And now – this video. Small budget, big chutzpah. Singing your song, you cool with that? The culmination of 30 years of singing into a mirror. And at the same time the beginning of something great. Something big. Because now I believe it – I believe in that little girl’s dream. I believe in my dream and in myself. And I have you to thank for that. For kindling that fire, for keeping it alive, for moving me with every song and making me laugh with every funny look - consistently for as long as I can remember no matter where I’ve been, in a world that just keeps moving and changing and getting harder to live in. This is for us, from one Funny Girl to another. I hope you like it.